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The Prosecution: Her Argument

I can hear Gina swishing and spitting from my room. I have a gut reaction to it.

She has resided with Gina for two years, since they each experienced breakups and needed a new place to reside. She’s fun and kind, but what annoys Raquel at home is her habit to clean her teeth around the house.

Gina has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and is frequently doing three tasks at once. She tends to misplace her keychain in the door, which Raquel worries about, or forget where she put her toothbrush in the morning.

Raquel will return and notice that she has left it on the edge of the kitchen worktop after brushing, which I finds disgusting, because the kitchen is for food preparation, not for oral hygiene routines. It’s where vegetables get washed and glasses are washed. It isn't meant to be where I looks down and spots a foam residue of toothpaste sliding towards the plughole.

In the bathroom, Gina displays a further undesirable practice – she takes water straight from the tap while brushing her teeth. Not once, not twice, but repeatedly a brushing period to clear her mouth.

She leans over, draws water directly from the tap, moves it around her mouth and expels it. I can hear the whole symphony from the bedroom, and it causes a strong reaction. I rest there and shudder. Wouldn't it be better to just use a cup?

Raquel is uncertain if her mouth is touching the tap, but I doesn't want to know. That’s the identical faucet Raquel uses when she cleans her face and when I refills my water bottle.

Raquel doesn't think me overreacting. It’s about hygiene, and understanding that shared spaces require agreed norms. Brushing your teeth should be restricted to the bathroom basin, and done without converting the faucet into a communal drinking fountain.

She has said that she'll attempt to stop, but whenever Raquel asks, she stops for about a week and then continues again.

Residing with someone with attention disorders is demanding at the easiest moments, but sometimes Raquel feels Gina uses it as an excuse. Raquel is not perfect, but if someone asks her to adjust something, I does attempt to accommodate. Gina could make an effort a little harder.

Gina's Side: Gina's Argument

Coping with attention deficit is hard, besides, the kitchen is not some untouchable food-only zone.

Gina believes that her roommate is exaggerating and missing the full picture. Gina occasionally brushes her teeth in the kitchen sink, drinks from the bathroom faucet and leaves my belongings out of place, but that’s just a part of living with a mind like mine.

I reside with ADHD, and that means getting sidetracked frequently. In the morning before heading out, Gina will clean her teeth at the same time as wearing her shoes, or making her lunch in the kitchen because I is multitasking.

The kitchen sink has running water and disposal just like the bathroom basin, and it all ends up in the identical pipes. It’s not, as she thinks, some sacred exclusive-use zone.

Gina cleans the basin post-use – I is not leaving saliva lingering around. And, if anything, the kitchen sink probably gets sanitized more often than the bathroom. Gina additionally doesn't do this daily. There’s only evidence if I leaves her toothbrush on the counter, which she ought not to do but her brain forgets to return it occasionally.

With the taps, lots of people consume water from them. I grew up practicing this. My sibling and Gina would always clean their teeth like this. To me, it’s normal to rinse your mouth out by sipping from the faucet. Filling up a glass every time seems like extra effort.

Gina doesn't put her entire mouth around the tap, I just kind of positions, or tilts the stream towards her and catches it. The way Raquel imagines it, it’s like Gina is a feline with a bowl, lapping it clean.

I prefers to clean thoroughly, so she does take around multiple rinses, which might sound too much, but it means her teeth are clean.

Washrooms are not aseptic environments, and germs are everywhere. Unless Raquel is bleaching the tap each day, we’re both exposed to bacteria in the bathroom.

Living with ADHD is hard. Plus, I might list things she practices that annoy me: everyone has bad habits, but I tolerates them because we share a home.

Gina cannot guarantee that she will change. She has tried not to walk around brushing her teeth, but she continues forgetting.

Reader Views

Should She Stop Brushing Her Complaints Away?

Some argue that Raquel should understand that housemates already share germs just by cohabiting. Sipping from the tap is not unhygienic – although Gina drank on it – because the liquid is on the interior of the plumbing.

But it seems as if Gina believes her ADHD gives her a free pass. Gina should respect her discomfort and attempt to change her habits. Additionally, washing after cleaning your teeth removes the fluoride – you should just spit.

Some readers note that Raquel’s discomfort at what Gina sees as harmless quirks is about more than oral hygiene. If she changes her ways, Raquel will soon find fault with something else.

It seems as if this house-share has reached its limit. She is correct that in common areas we must make accommodations, but she is refusing to respect a valid preference from her flatmate.

This is less about cleanliness than about consideration of limits. Drinking from the faucet is fine, if there’s no direct mouth contact. But placing a toothbrush on the kitchen counter is unacceptable – end of.

Should she can learn to adapt to Gina’s needs, Gina can show willingness to change. Also, not rinsing after cleaning my teeth means she will keep the benefits of her toothpaste and address two problems in one.

Your Turn to Decide

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